12th September 2008. My first post under “Faith of the Heart” (flicking to and between “justgivemeachance” – but more on that later).
I set up the blog when I was 20 years old, about to go to university (for the second time – because I like to do things my way…). I’d had an emotional breakup (so cliché) and I think I knew I was about to embark on a rollercoaster of emotions, and chose to publish that to the entire world wide web rather than my trusty personal journal.
Skip forward over 200 posts and 6 years later, taking me through my university life and onto a graduate scheme (key milestones in my life at the time), and the blog had turned into a place of ranting and negativity (desperate pleas of “just give me a chance” anyone). My last post was about self sabotage and knowing what’s right and wrong (in yourself). I couldn’t write after that, I felt zapped and exhausted by all the negativity. I carried on like everything was normal, when deep down I knew something wasn’t right.
It felt like for a long time I was in the fog. Or, how I like to describe it as “stuck in a tunnel”. Depression. Ugh, I hate that it has a label. It’s only one word, three syllables but such a magnitude of emotions.
I thought if you tried your hardest, you could ignore it and be like you used to be. But things don’t really work like that.
Now, I’d like my blog to be a place which rides all the waves of emotions and comes out the other side smiling. With the occasional rant of course – you can’t change who you are. And that’s okay!