{"id":117,"date":"2020-11-22T11:54:16","date_gmt":"2020-11-22T11:54:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/?p=117"},"modified":"2020-11-22T11:54:16","modified_gmt":"2020-11-22T11:54:16","slug":"in-the-cold-darkness-all-i-hear-is-nothing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/?p=117","title":{"rendered":"In the cold darkness, all I hear is nothing"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Without meaning to be repetitive, this year has been <em>long<\/em>. A year full of shattered hopes and dreams, a year of yearning for times of old, a year of, well, nothing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And all that is fine really &#8211; of course it is, you can turn it into a <strong>positive<\/strong>. It&#8217;s been a time for reflection; of realising what and who is important to you in life. Of realising <em>what<\/em> it is that <strong>really<\/strong> makes you happy, of slowing down, of being still, and so on and so on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But the problem for me has been, and I&#8217;d say for many alike too, is that I feel like I&#8217;ve lost my <span class=\"has-inline-color has-primary-color\"><strong>head<\/strong><\/span>. I don&#8217;t know what I <em>think<\/em> or <em>feel<\/em> anymore &#8211; I&#8217;m not numb in the sense that &#8220;I feel nothing&#8221;. More, I&#8217;m not sure where I lie anymore. What I really think. Where I&#8217;m going or what I&#8217;m doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And I&#8217;m probably being dramatic in the sense that I have too much time on my hands, and therefore everything is dramatised and elongated. But I truly feel like I&#8217;ve become braindead and incapable to think of <em>anything<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The craving for a sense of normality is strong, but then I wonder &#8211; what is &#8216;normal&#8217; anyway? Do I really want to go back to a full week of office life, of commuting, of feeling like I have to utilise every living moment to be &#8216;productive&#8217;?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m really just not sure anymore. And I think that&#8217;s okay, because in my tendency towards blind faith, I&#8217;ll figure it out one day. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Without meaning to be repetitive, this year has been long. A year full of shattered hopes and dreams, a year of yearning for times of old, a year of, well, nothing. And all that is fine really &#8211; of course it is, you can turn it into a positive. It&#8217;s been a time for reflection; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[22,18,58],"tags":[23,33,29,59,60,4,16,20,14,43,42],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=117"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":118,"href":"https:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117\/revisions\/118"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithoftheheart.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}