There’s an unwritten rule that allows you to moan ferociously until you’re blue in the face to your friends, and they’ll simply listen, nod, and give their feedback in the form of sympathy, acknowledgement or advice. It’s endless and enduring really – personally, I don’t know how they continue to put up with me.
Friendships are special like that though – they are constantly evolving and developing, marked by key events and milestones, highs, lows, petty squabbles and random acts of kindness (sometimes in postal form).
I’ve always had something to say – I’ve never been a wallflower. But, what I find the hardest is talking about something really personal, or as I like to put it “talking about my girl feelings”. And that is not to undermine femininity, or the art of expressing yourself and your feelings. It’s more personal than that, it’s the vulnerability it exposes me to.
I’ve always loved a good moan (sounds really dodgy, obviously I mean in the ranting/bitching sense) – but now I’m learning to open up more. I’m learning it’s not only cathartic to speak to my friends about ‘my girl feelings’ (how are you really?), but it’s actually really necessary to release all of these pent up words, emotions and energies inside of me and channel them into something more positive.
There’s that guilt you feel sometimes when you know you’re on a verbal rampage, but in personally trying to decipher the underlying meaning yourself – here’s my rant and this is what I think it could mean, or this is what I think I should do to resolve it, there’s a much more productive and positive outcome.
Or maybe that’s what I’m telling myself to justify my moans and rambling – either way, if I feel less negativity residing is it really a bad thing? Sorry friends, your ears and sanity won’t be saved anytime soon.