I feel guilty. And so I should.
This week I caught myself giving an eye roll and muttering an insult under my breath to a post I saw on Instagram. It was by an old university friend about confidence, or lack thereof. I found myself saying something along the lines of yeah whatever, like you’d know anything about that. You couldn’t even begin to imagine people going through any crisis of confidence/unhappiness/anxiety.
And then I stopped and gave myself a huge dressing down. Because here’s the thing – how do I know what that person is going through? How do I know what anyone is going through?
I’m the first to advocate being kind because you never know what someone is going through. The fact I’ve told few people about the heavy D word in its self shows that, in general, most people don’t know everything about me either. And yet there I was mentally tearing someone down because I didn’t believe they were being truthful.
I had a momentary lapse. I fell into the trap many people do where they either accept someone of having a problem (whether it be mental health issues, confidence issues, etc) but still expect them to act the same as they always have. Or, don’t believe that there is an problem or issue in the first place.
Either way, it’s not a reaction I want to find myself repeating ever again.
I think in a way it’s the toxicity of social media – it’s jammed packed full of fakeness, false niceties and lip service being paid. Of course it has its merits too – for me it’s a way to connect when geography makes it harder. But, more and more I’m finding it more negative. And negativity can spiral.
I guess moral of the story – I can’t promise I won’t get sucked into negativity ever again, but I’ll try my damned hardest. Also, I will be making a conscious effort to focus more on absorption and reflection rather than knee jerk reaction.