This week something so insignificant really sent me spiralling. I say insignificant because although to me it felt enough to throw me into a downward spiral, the reality is that for a bystander it was something or nothing.
It’s frustrating recognising yourself spiralling and feeling like you can do absolutely nothing about it. I guess in a way it’s a good sign I can recognise it in myself, and I aren’t oblivious to what is happening. But still, I felt out of control.
No amount of meditation, journaling, yoga-ing, you name it was able to bring me back.
It’s cyclical and I know these feelings pass and I’ll feel “normal” again – whatever that is.
But it’s a horrible feeling – emotionally and physically. I felt like I was screaming internally for help, but really what could anyone actually have done?
It took a few days for the calmness to come back to me, and finally I feel back in control again. Like nothing ever happened.
And that’s the thing about mental health, it can be unpredictable.