Do you ever get so caught up in how you think people will react to a particular instance or event, that when they do actually react it takes you utterly by surprise? In a way you perceive as either good surprise or bad surprise.
I’ve had a few moments like this recently. I always want to see the best in people, and as my own harsh critic I place tough expectations on myself, for myself. But, when other people fall short of my own personal expectations I’m disappointed. Which is insane, because firstly these are my own expectations for myself, and secondly we are each an individual. We don’t want people all the same. We need differences. Like the saying goes: variety is the spice of life. Having differing people creates a healthy balance of opinion and, well, general interestingness.
The thing about expectations is that hopelessly believing (or wishing) that people will react and be the same as you can be self destruction. It inadvertently hurts me when I feel people let me down – which isn’t fair. They never signed up to those expectations in the first place. It’s literally not you, it’s me.
Instead of thinking how we would be in any given situation, it’s more useful to readjust our mindset – what would so and so do? If I was so and so what would I think?
Habits take time to develop, and life is one continuous development. If only it came with a guidebook…