Self confidence and self esteem. The two most illusive traits (if that is the correct terminology) that a person endeavours to embody – and emanate.
It sounds so simple – believe in yourself; your abilities and your self worth. But in reality, it can be a challenge. But weirdly it’s much easier for us to believe in other people – to build them up and have endless faith in them and their abilities – than it is to believe in ourselves.
It’s human nature of course. The trials and tribulations of the modern day world, life so to speak, take their toll. It’s exhausting. And through that exhaustion, all facets of our life unravel and become increasingly difficult to maintain to the same degree.
This last week I’ve unfortunately been unwell, but in some ways I have been fortunate in the sense that it’s given me time to rest and reflect. To really look in and converse with the worries and anxieties that are held deep inside me.
I frustrate myself because my knee jerk reaction is to panic. To worry. To think of the worst possible scenario. To believe that I cannot and will not be able to cope with whatever life throws at me.
But, and this is the important bit, I know that I can and would be able to cope. It’s just easy to forget; to react in the way I’ve become so familiar with.
I love to journal (case and point this blog). And whilst I wouldn’t normally share my personal journal with anyone, there’s something I wrote this week that I feel is important to share:
“I need to realise and remember my self worth – it isn’t tied to any job or any aspect of my life. It is within me. And also, it is within my gift to pick myself back up from the floor, to be my own cheerleader.”
It’s probably quite self indulgent to quote myself, albeit something I wrote in my journal. But the point I’m trying to get at is, I realised I do know my self worth. And that’s a step forward in its self. It’s now just about learning to tap into that.
Work in progress.