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Life lessons Mental Health Motivation

Rest, Reflect and Recuperate

I remember when I first started in the world of work, “live for the weekend” I was told. I didn’t really give a response, I just sort of mm-okay-d. I mean, what can you really say to that or “this is it now, your life for the next forty years”?!

In the first years of ‘The Real World’ I truly believed these people who would give ‘advice’ about living for the weekend were truly soul suckers. Were they telling me I’d had the best time of my life, and it was all down hill from now on (a bit like when you hit thirty and you’re told that exact sentence)? Were they saying it out of spite or some unfounded jealousy?

Now on reflection, I do think they meant well and I can understand where they were coming from – work is consuming. It really does feel like eat, sleep, work repeat sometimes (okay, most of the time..).

But, I can’t stand by or advocate living for the weekend because honestly, what life is that? Living only for two days out of your week is a pure waste.

I think I’m slowly finding a good balance – I am one of those people, old before my time, who likes to go to bed super early. But I still try to make the most out of the mornings and evenings before work, so that my day isn’t all about work (the urge to say “and no play” is strong..”.

Weirdly, I find I’m more active during the working week rather than the weekend. The weekend for me is all about self-care: resting, reflecting and whatever else I do, do it slowly with no pressure.

Ultimately we only have one life; why only enjoy two days a week?

Categories
Life lessons Mental Health Motivation

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

“You seem to have more good days than bad”. A sentence uttered to me this week by someone who has known me precisely five minutes.  Okay, an exaggeration – more like eight weeks but still, hardly a long period of time. And although you don’t have to know someone for a long length of time to really know them, in this situation I was really taken aback because this person has never met me in the flesh so to speak, only by virtual means. 

It’s the age old response of “I’m okay”. Some people take that at face value – they said they are okay, they must be okay, end of. Others see behind the words and delve deeper – no, how are you really?! 

In this particular instance, I think what has bothered me the most is the underlying and unspoken meaning behind the comment – that because you appear happy and functional, you cannot possibly suffer from depression or any other ailment (whether it be mental, physical or otherwise). Depressed people don’t laugh. Depressed people don’t work. Depressed people just stay in bed crying all day. Depressed people don’t have anything to live for. And whilst that is sadly true for some sufferers, that is not the case for all. One size most certainly does not fit all. It is possible to suffer with depression and live (or try to live) a functioning life. There’s also waves and bouts – sometimes there’s sunshine, sometimes there’s rain. 

Ultimately, people will only hear and see what they want to. Moral of the story: focus your energies on your own well-being and let other people worry about theirs. 

Categories
Life lessons

Working nine ’til…well nine

The current pandemic, or “situation” as you will, has really turned things on its head. For the most part, it has totally changed the way people are working – from being furloughed, having to socially distance at work, changes in work activities/tasks, to working from home (and I am sure there are many stages in between).

For me, I’ve been working from home for three months now. And whilst working from home has never bothered me before, I feel it’s starting to take its toll. Not only in terms of becoming increasingly harder to differentiate home from work, and vice versa, but also the fact the working day is stretching out to 10+ hour days. It’s really made me rethink my career path and personal priorities – I find myself questioning whether this is really the career I want? Do I really want to work for an industry that takes advantage of people having to work from home and tries to squeeze more out of them, because… well … what else do they have to do? 

Am I really happy in what I do? 

If you ask, most people would say they want to contribute to something meaningful. I don’t think it’s particularly from a place of blind faith, naivety, or cynicism of the corporate world, I think it’s more personal than that. It’s simply just wanting to do better and be better, because life is so finite. 

Do I want to quit my career and become a missionary? No. But I do want more for myself – perhaps it’s the current world we live in making me forget my sense of purpose. Either way, I want to see the positivity of it. 

Categories
Exercise

Wheels turning, minds unfurling

There’s something I’ve never truly been able to understand, the mythical “Runner’s high”. And although I run, albeit not fast nor far, I’ve never quite experienced the surge of euphoria from running other people tell me about. But I do believe in the power of exercise and movement. Not just for physical health reasons, but also mental health – they say that sweat is fat crying (ha!), but I always think sweating is actually some sort of emotional and toxic energy release. 

For me, I have always loved to cycle. It’s strange, but I feel more confident on two wheels rather than four – perhaps that says something about my driving. 

I find that going on a bike ride really helps me to release, unwind and literally think of nothing else (note obviously paying attention to the road/cycle path otherwise it could spell disaster!). As cliché as it seems, it really does give me freedom and the ability to spread my wings, forget all of the bad parts or even stressy parts in life – at least for the duration of the ride. 

The beauty of cycling is that it can be a solo sport, or a shared activity. Solo riding lets you be hidden in a crowd, unknown to the world and free to roam with your thoughts. Whilst going on a bike ride with others is just simply FUN! 

Maybe cycling is my high….

Categories
Friendships

Little Miss Chatterbox and The Never Ending Moan

There’s an unwritten rule that allows you to moan ferociously until you’re blue in the face to your friends, and they’ll simply listen, nod, and give their feedback in the form of sympathy, acknowledgement or advice. It’s endless and enduring really – personally, I don’t know how they continue to put up with me. 

Friendships are special like that though – they are constantly evolving and developing, marked by key events and milestones, highs, lows, petty squabbles and random acts of kindness (sometimes in postal form). 

I’ve always had something to say – I’ve never been a wallflower. But, what I find the hardest is talking about something really personal, or as I like to put it “talking about my girl feelings”. And that is not to undermine femininity, or the art of expressing yourself and your feelings. It’s more personal than that, it’s the vulnerability it exposes me to. 

I’ve always loved a good moan (sounds really dodgy, obviously I mean in the ranting/bitching sense) – but now I’m learning to open up more. I’m learning it’s not only cathartic to speak to my friends about ‘my girl feelings’ (how are you really?), but it’s actually really necessary to release all of these pent up words, emotions and energies inside of me and channel them into something more positive. 

There’s that guilt you feel sometimes when you know you’re on a verbal rampage, but in personally trying to decipher the underlying meaning yourself – here’s my rant and this is what I think it could mean, or this is what I think I should do to resolve it, there’s a much more productive and positive outcome. 

Or maybe that’s what I’m telling myself to justify my moans and rambling – either way, if I feel less negativity residing is it really a bad thing? Sorry friends, your ears and sanity won’t be saved anytime soon. 

Categories
Life lessons

Memoirs, failing and other useless advice

Quite often in books, magazines, social posts and the like, we are often asked to think about what advice we would give to our younger self. And I’ve never really had an answer to be honest, not because I’m perfect or haven’t made any mistakes. Because, well I’m human – who hasn’t?! But more because I think life is an experience, you have to go through the motions – both highs and lows – to really understand yourself and the ethereal “I think therefore I am”. Perhaps that’s advice in its self: experience. 

I also don’t think there’s any particular age that makes you worthy of dishing out life advice. I fundamentally believe in the quote “you never quit until you stop trying”. I want to learn all through the ages, not just get to a certain defined age where I “should” know everything. Life should be dynamic, unpredictable, and most importantly for a purpose: to learn and experience to enrich your being. 

It all sounds very wooly – and cringe – but that’s my only thoughts and advice; you really just have to experience it yourself. We all perceive and experience things differently, one size does not fit all. In the words of the 21st century “you do you”. I’ve stopped short of adding the word ‘babe’ after that – you’re welcome.

Categories
Mental Health

There’s a dark cloud looming over the horizon, and I need to run for cover

It’s completely normal to have ‘good days’ and ‘bad days’, I get that. I’ve learnt to embrace it (mostly). It’s a part of the process, hell it’s a part of life. But, over the last few days I’ve been surprised by how far I’ve found myself teetering over the edge, and how uncomfortable it makes me feel. It’s not an unfamiliar place or feeling, but I think what has surprised me the most is its return.

We’ve been on lockdown for over two months now; this is the new normal. In that sense, nothing over the last week has changed. So I think it’s that fact that has left me feeling, well, worst. Motivation has been a real struggle for a few weeks now – unsurprisingly – however, I’ve still managed to remain upbeat and positive. I’ve actively been trying to maintain a positive mental attitude (or PMA as I like to call it – not to be confused with PMS which brings out the worst in me). I’ve always believed in the law of attraction – tuning into my most hippy-like self, emanating good vibes will in return furnish me with good vibes. But it’s hard to always remain in that frame of mind. And that’s probably where I need to practice what I preach and realise it’s okay to have an ‘off’ day, but not dwell there because tomorrow is a new day – with it comes a fresh perspective to start anew.

The sky isn’t always filled with grey clouds after all….

Categories
Mental Health

Loose lips sink ships

I was talking to an old school friend the other day about mental health, and how some employers totally understand and support the mental health agenda, whereas others just pay it lip service. And that’s such a shame because imagine you’re going through a hard time, you go to work, well to pay the bills, but it also casts as a distraction from all the thoughts and feelings and situations in your head. Now imagine that the work environment makes you feel ten times worse and there’s no flexibility, it suffocates you. How does that make you feel? From an observer, sad. From experience, more overwhelmed than can be physically articulated. 

I’ve always fundamentally believed your health comes first, whether that be physical or mental. If something or someone or some people aren’t supportive of that, well that means you’re not important to them. And that simply is it. Actions really do speak louder than words – if you support an agenda, whatever that may be, you can’t give it less than your all.

Categories
Motivation

Motivation, where for art thou?

I guess it’s symptomatic of the current times we live in. But more and more I’m struggling to really motivate myself. Which is expected, but equally so frustrating. I just want to DO something. Anything! Well not exactly anything, but all the things I enjoy. And I know these days won’t last forever, and we’ll look back with pure envy and say things like “remember when we complained about being stuck at home? I WISH I could be stuck at home right now. I need a break…”. That’s life though isn’t it? 

I keep remembering the important bits, hell the words inked on my own side tell me “and in time, this too shall pass”. 

Until then I guess I’ll keep searching for my lost motivation, and remember to [try to] keep grounded. 

Repeat after me: breath in for three, hold for three, out for seven…..

Hello (again) world!

After a five and a half year “hiatus” I’ve re-found my voice. It’s not that it was lost as such, I could never be a mute (I’m sure my friends and family can attest to that. It’s just, I kind of lost who I was. And I guess to some extent I’m still not really sure who I “am”. And that’s the point – in life, you mature, you go through all the challenges and turbulences and curveballs, and whatever else. Time moves so fast and you yearn for those moments you can take a break – to think, to feel, to breathe. And most of all to remember; remember who you used to be and wish for the happiness you once felt. Then the feelings and emotions come, and wow do they overwhelm. But, here we are. Here I am. Moments don’t last forever – and I remember once someone saying to me “that’s really pessimistic”, but is it? I chose to see that as optimism, call it blind faith if you will. Now more than ever we have to learn to be comfortable in our own skin. I’m not looking for my former self anymore; I’m working on my future self.